Sleeping getting worse


#1

So my babe hit 10 months and I swear his sleep has gotten even worse!he was the best sleepr until that stupid 4 month sleep regression. Now
It’s to the point now that the only way he will sleep or stay asleep is either on me or my husband! I tired sleep training a while back and it didn’t work overly well and started it again recently but that seems to have made the sleep issue worse…almost like now he’s super attached and panicked if we even just put him in the crib.

He screams to the point of nearly puking but he will not fall asleep on his own or stay asleep once he is asleep from help from us.

Any tips or what might be going on with him…
It’s not teeth or tummy aches.


#2

Obviously your son has no idea how to fall asleep or stay asleep by himself, because you’ve never given him an opportunity to learn. The only way that he can get used to sleeping in his crib is by actually sleeping in his crib. If you have to let him cry, and cry, and cry one night before he falls asleep in his crib, you have no other option at this point for getting him off of you. The first few nights will be hard. You don’t have to abandon him, and you don’t have to let him cry until he pukes - you can pick him up every ___ minutes that you decide on, comfort him, and put him back. But if you want him to sleep in his crib, you have to let him practice that, even if he’s extremely angry and resistant. Sleep training is what is necessary, and it probably didn’t work because either you didn’t do it consistently for long enough and gave up, or because you had unreasonable expectations of what it means for it to “work” at his age.

He probably is panicked if you put him in the crib, because he’s afraid that you will leave him there again, but that is exactly what you want to do! You can try to make it easier on him using strategies like staying in his room right next to the crib until he falls asleep, if you want. You have to use trial and error and see what works for your baby - with mine, if we stay in the room or check on him, it just makes him cry harder and it’s actually harder on him than just leaving him.


#3

Hi ya, my son was exactly same, except he used breastfeeding to get back to sleep. They use what comforts them the most. My son breastfed until he wears 2 years old, and still woke overnight until I weaned him. I stopped breastfeeding him overnight and rocked him instead, but this still required my presence. I think you have to ultimately do what works best for you all. I’m personally against the cry it out way, as I think there are more gentle alternatives, but many have to use it, as many friends and family have. I have a 4 month old now, breastfeeding too, and he takes a passifier to fall asleep. Very different personality to the first. I’m personally convinced it’s all about personality! My first was very set in his ways, but number 2 is much more flexible and easy going. I hope this was of help, even if just a ‘been there’ sort of way, and 'I support you ’ in whatever way you decide to go! For what it’s worth, I remember crawling into bed with my parents and feeling so safe and cosy in their space. When I mentioned it to them recently, they said it was cute, but they lost a lot of sleep ‘sharing’ their space with me. Maybe he just needs to feel safe?
All the best,
Linds


#4

My daughter is the same way. She is waking frequently through the night and sometimes wanting a little to eat, other times she wants to snuggle. I will get her back to sleep by rocking her or feeding her within ten minutes, then I wait a little before transferring her to the crib. The minute I transfer her to the crib she wakes up screaming or the complete opposite, she wakes up and is ready to start her day. She is ten months old as well. I have tried letting her cry it out and it hasn’t worked, I have tried the pick up, put down method. I am hoping at the end of this leap she will start sleeping again as she was a great sleeper and then regressed around the six month mark or so.


#5

Hi Renee, not sure if you check out other posts, I have responded to another. I would definitely recommend trying The No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley. This is a slow and steady method with almost no stress for bubs or the parent/s involved. I had been using this when my daughter was younger, but didn’t finish the process as my daughter started sleeping better…silly now that I look back as I am about to re-commence (and this time complete the whole process).


#6

Since your son is scared of the crib now, a more gentle but consistent approach might be a good fit for him.

I wanted another option besides letting her cry or sleeping with her until she self weans. Once she hit 18-19 weeks she became so sensitive to her environment she started relying on me to get her to sleep. She is such an attached babay in general that I really thought nothing would work or be easy. I was wrong! This is easier than i thought and has involved very few tears. It is really working for me mybe this will work for you to.

I was not comfortable with cry-it-out solutions and used a plan that involves the ISIS trading down approach:

  1. do whatever it usually takes to get the baby as much daysleep and naps as possible. Do nighttime first and naps later.

  2. go through your established bedtime routine

  3. put the baby into the crib relaxed but awake NOT sleepy or drowsy so she knows where she is and what is going on. THis helps then figure out where they are when they wake up later in the night.

4.say good night and stay calm. Stay in the room in a chair if you think it will help calm your child.

  1. When she cries or looks to you for soothing, sooth the baby in anyway you usually do alternating from HIGH soothing to LOW soothing. Low soothing for your baby might be shhhing or patting her stomach. High soothing might be picking up and cuddling. Alternating high and low soothing can keep the baby from freaking out and helps to slowly break their attachment to one soothing method.

This is similar to pick up/put down approach but you stay and keep soothing them so they don’t ever cry alone. Provide as much soothing as you think he needs, not just to stop crying but to fall asleep in his crib. Don’t let him get too worked up and don’t worry about timing or intervals. Give him as much or as little space as you think he needs to be relaxed. For my daughter, I would hold her hand until she fell asleep and let go.
If you decide you need to nurse him down just try to make sure he is still awake when you put him back in the crib and then use your low soothing.

  1. Over the coming nights, “trade down” the soothing you provide. If you have been picking up and nursing as you high and then trade down to just picking up. If rubbing her stomach was your low, over time shhing becomes your low.

This worked for me almost immediately. Once I got her to sleep (about 45 minutes with no big crying) each wake-up only took about 10 minutes of soothing. A big change, since she was a nurse to sleeper who slept of top of me. (She would even be upset if she had to sleep next to me instead of on top.) I was shocked.

This might take longer than letting them cry it out but is more gentle and it really does work at getting them to sleep in their crib and soothe themselves. Be consistant and it should take hold. If not, maybe work with a sleep consultant to see if there are any underlying issues

A lot depends on personality of both baby and mom. Do what you think is best for your child and for you. If you are so frayed that you can’t see straight, continued bedsharing, for example, might not be a great option. Good luck! It sounds like you are a really great mom who will do what is best for your kids!